LITTLE THINGS

Lord, in the little things, I pray,
The unrecorded, everyday,
Passing events, may I take joy.
May I have always a small-boy
Mind that can give itself to each
Moment and does not have to reach
Forever for what is not there,
But finds contentment anywhere;
For I would have no need of wings
But what the winged moment brings.

How few the triumphs or defeats
That the most noted person meets!
But every moment, thought by thought
And act by act, a life is wrought,
A life is lived—and I would learn
To live each moment in its turn.
Lord, in the little things, I pray,
The little acts of every day,
Let me find joy. Then I shall be
Contented with eternity.
James Dillet Freeman

Blogged with Flock

My advice?  Get off your ass and earn real life XP.

Not that I don’t play video games, I’ve just learned not to obsess.  Instead, I focus my energies on REAL Life.

I’m constantly amazed by the good springing forth in my life lately.  It all began with The Secret (Extended Edition) I can’t say enough good stuff about it.  My local friends should set a time to come over and watch it, because it’s really amazing stuff.

I’m doing things I’ve wanted to for so long, and suddenly — It’s manifesting.

I went shopping with Thor  on Wednesday afternoon, and had such a GREAT time.  We went to the big mall at Millinea (sp) and the outlet stores next to Mary Queen of the Universe church.  Next, we got lost.

An hour and a half later (10:30 pm or so) we were at Kobe Japanese Steakhouse on International Drive.  That night, neither of us stuck to our diets.  Sake + Sushi + Shrimp + Scallops = Sin.  Good sin.  Yummy, tasty, delicious, SIN!

I still lost two pounds!  So there.  It goes to show what cutting out extra snacks and crap will do for ya . . . You get to eat like a starving person once per week.

Friday, I met up with a really nice guy named  Noah. That led to hanging out with 13 new friends at Mugs & Movies to see The Number 23 starring Jim Carrey.   While I wasn’t really impressed by the movie, I was really impressed that such a great group of people existed in Sebring.  Noah’s a super-cool guy and I’m looking forward to the fun and nerdy stuff we’ll do.

I also bought lots of weight-loss stuff and became a gold card member at GNC.  The people there are so cool.  I can’t believe I felt intimidated walking past that place.  They told me they really eat cheeseburgers in the back room.  I fell in love instantly.

Other News: 

• I’m naming my bed “the gym.”
• I’m down to 265 pounds from an all-time high of 315 about a year ago.
• Thor has a MySpace
• My Grandpa’s 75th birthday surprise party today– He was shocked.
• I’ll be in Tampa with my sister tomorrow. (Today if you want to be technical.)
• I’ll be helping her friends purchase a computer, and setting it up for them like a good person.  Then my sister will feed me.
• I drink slime at least once per day.
• I also consume a good deal of caffeine.
• I like bulleted text.
• So I’ll type . . .
• Just a few more lines . . .
• To get my fix.

I had a great talk with Mike last night.  He’s a good friend, and I’m so glad we met. 

Magic is everywhere, and so . . I live for today, and I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.

(((Bear Hugs)))  Until next time.  Take care of yourself, okay?

On the soul level, I’ve been feeling a tad depressed, but I’m reading The Re-enchantment of Everyday Life

It’s one of the most soulful, healing, and encouraging books I’ve read. Thomas Moore weaves a web of soulful stories; encouraging readers to re-enchant every day life and believe in “magic.”

If you’re looking for a good Christmas gift to share with a friend- especially one going through a tough time, this book comes with my blessing.

It’s cooling down here. The weather guy said to expect a “seasonal” Thanksgiving. I’m very excited to be spending with David and friends, but I’m missing my family– Nothing beats Mom’s Thanksgiving.

Love to all,

Josh

Okay, time is not flying. Neither is it slowly progressing. I live in the magical land of limbo. I shouldn’t fret. Life was too fast anway.

Now, I’m learning to slow down and enjoy every day.

I created a banner for Unity of Sebring yesterday. What do you think? No animation, I know.

I hope life is going well for you. I’m . . ummm . . adjusting

Love,

Josh

  

First of all, I’m tired as hell, but it’s a good thing. I’ve spent the day with the greatest people I have ever known. One day, my heart will be mature enough to express the overwhelming sense of gratitude I feel. I’m grateful for my hubby, my friends, my family, and all of the wealth I’ve accumulated over the years.

You see, my bank account doesn’t understand how rich I am. I truely am a “rags to riches” story- straight out of the fairy tales.

Four years ago, I moved into a little one-bedroom apartment with somebody I loved a lot. He didn’t work, but he didn’t really have to. We were brokeass mountain, but “love” made me feel rich. Of course, it was really my desire to feel loved . . and not really love. I was in love with the IDEA.

A broken heart, and a WEALTH of knowledge later, I met David. Wow- what a complete breath of fresh air. We grew to love eachother pretty quickly, and had our somewhat rocky points, but we’re still together, and I love him more each and every day.

He’s shown me what real love is, and how to love even when I didn’t feel like it. Our love has grown over these last few years, and I pray everyday, that I can live up to expressing my gratitude for such amazing times.

While they haven’t been present in my everyday life, friends have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. At school, I was the smart “goody goody” that made people wanna puke, and found it difficult to interact with people around me. It’s not easy being the fat kid, but at least I looked fairly strong.

In the last few months, old friendships have blossomed, and new ones have grown. I am amazed how rich I am. My bank account DOESN’T understand!!!!! I had more fun with $40 today than many millionaires. I went to Lakeland with Keith and explored its mall, met a really cool preacher’s kid who now works at HotTopic, got a messenger bag, and ate some great shrimp!

Later this evening, we got back into Sebring, finished getting a few knicknacks for Keith’s halloween outfit, and then met up with Amanda, John, Jonathan, and THOR (he’s back from hiking)!!! Our waiter at Chili’s sucked ass, but it was so good being with everybody.

I find myself . . sitting back . . . and just . . drinking them in for a few moments. Everybody was laughing, joking, talking, and having a blast. Except Jonathan, but he’s bitchy like that. I still love him.

We parted ways, and Amanda, Keith, and I went back to her place. I saw my two ex-roomies who I’m working really hard to forgive .. outside Amanda’s, but I remained calm and casually ignored them.

Once inside, Keith put on his halloween costume for us . . and paraded around posing for pictures. I almost fell off Amanda’s sofa when Keith (who was a bit drunk) was posing on the kitchen counter raised up a bit too high and SMACKED his head into her light. She had just said “Watch your head!”

After hanging out til’ almost midnight, Keith took me back to my one-bedroom apartment.

I’ve spent some really great times here. I’ve had plenty of sucky ones, too. . . but soon. . . maybe tomorrow . . (actually today since it’s 5:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep) My time in this place will be done.

My roomie screwed me bigtime. I gave too much, perhaps. I should have thrown him out the first time he grabbed my arm in anger. A few months, and a dirty apartment later, he signed a lease on a new place- planning on me moving, too.

I asked him to clean up because we had a “move out” inspection, and instead of doing his fair share, I came home looking at a pig stye. Although I hadn’t eaten at home for over a month, he somehow felt I should clean the kitchen. . . and even though it was his feces on the floor of my bathroom, I should mop it up. I disagreed. Strongly.

Like any good abuser, he’s great at justifying his actions, and perhaps he’ll never be held to account for them. I take solace in the fact that I acted in integrity, and even though I was VERY VERY VERY PISSED, I gave him all of his stuff- and let him take things he had given to me in payment (aka the TV- because he hadn’t paid rent for 4 months).
One day, I’ll completely forgive/forget him and move on. Probably a lot sooner than him, because I don’t owe him anything.

As far as what he owes me . . . with his recent computer purchases, desks, furniture, and whatnot– although he promised to do the right thing and pay his share of the bills for the time he was here . . . I’d rather just free myself from being angry about the money. If he ever grows a conscience, he’ll do the right thing. I know his current BF tried sleeping with every person I brought over to hang out with. . . so . . . my ex-roomie will probably face the same challenge I face now. . . The good thing, however, is I have friends who love me for who I am. Video games and bacon make poor friends, dear ex-roomie. I sincerely hope you DON’T face this, because your support structure leaves much to be desired.

It happened in the early part of September. I couldn’t bring myself to write about it, because it’s painful. . but as my memories of him fade, and I spend time with my friends, my life improves.

The money is a small price to pay to remove abuse from my life. Many would give millions if they could.
I had a client ALSO break a contract with me. I don’t have the money to pursue him in court right now. While one problem or the other would have been critical but surmountable, the combination is more than my bank account can understand.

So, as rich as I am. . with experience . . life lessons . . friends . . love . . and family . .

I can’t sell them to pay my rent! Nor would I want to!!!

So, I might be offically “homeless” soon. Maybe today.
Okay, not “homeless” in the sleeping-under-a-bridge sense, but “homeless” in the “I’m rich with friends who love and care for me” sense.

Every need I’ve ever had has been met. Period. I will not die from this. Period.

So, it’s just a challenge, and a chance for more life lessons. I’m excited about what opportunities lay in store for me. Perhaps I went crazy when my roomie attacked me, but I’m going to enjoy my insanity as long as it lasts.

I am driving to California very soon. . . to be with David, the love of my life.

It might be tight for a while, of course, it might NOT be, either. We’re pretty good together as far as money-making goes.

Either way, this might be my last blog entry for a while.

Wish me luck, please. Pray if you like. Just call me sometime and make sure I’m eating, and I have enough time on my World of Warcraft account!

Your wealthy friend,

Josh

It was February 2003:

It drew protest from a few gay rights activists, but there it stood. The latest example of unapologetic hate. I’m sure Mike Reark knew what he was doing, and that’s what pisses me off.

One needn’t support gay rights to be acceptable in my world, but this particular Highlands County business owner went too far.

Welcome to the Wild Turkey Tavern in Sebring, Florida. That is, unless you’re gay, then, Mike Reark just wants you dead. Of course, he doesn’t take into account the numerous Highlands county residents with gay family and friends. One of the largest weddings I’ve been to in our county was gay. This marquee showcases Mr. Reark’s ignorance. (Confederate flag cropped out)

Mike Reark, I haven’t forgotten. Neither has the gay community. Maybe you think hatred is a good way of stirring up some some business . . . My friends and I disagree.

You harvest what you plant, Mike. Tell your friends. I most certainly still tell mine.

• I negotiated a fantastic deal with my CPA.
• I secured the help of my Doctor re: Hemochromatosis and will begin phlebotomy as early as this week.
• I worked on my Doctor’s computer and made some extra cash.
• My work impressed the Doctor and he wants me to handle his web site from now on.
• I had a fun time hanging out with Keith.
• I returned a computer to someone. . this computer was the biggest bitch I’ve seen. My effort was worth the princely sum he paid.
• The opportunity to do professional magic has come upon me, and it looks like I’ll be doing two corporate shows on August 16th. Sorry, the public isn’t invited.

So, to sum it all up . .

I’m not dying.

I made instant money.

I signed a client.

I have the opportunity to be paid for doing what I love.

Today, life rocks.

Oh, for those of you who were aware of my CPA issues . . let me just say . . Resolved. He was affable to say the least.

That reminds me. . I bought a Thesaurus. Don’t look for writing or vocabulary improvements. . I just like reading them to see what I’m missing out on.

Brady’s gonna help me figure out the cron job to let me post via mail. I hope it works.

I’m going to bed now. I’m getting up early to hang out at Amanda’s house and have hot wild sex with the Comcast guy. Well, I’ll be watching him fix her internet connection, and I have a loquacious imagination. (Maybe the thesaurus IS working?)

Good night.